"All my life I’ve been a big guy, but growing up I would always be put down. My step parent, my step dad, would always call me out and especially in public. Growing up it stuck with me, I felt like I wasn’t good enough up to this day I kinda still do. I didn’t really have help or anything from anyone cause my mom would pick my step dad over me and my sister. I’ve embraced that turning to an adult. I would eat my pain and sorrows away it would help me cope at times I guess but it wasn’t really a healthy way at all. I was taken to a doctor’s appointment for a physical at the age of 16 and got told I was so close to getting diabetes type 2, that was my wake up call. I got scared deep down inside especially cause within my family many of my relatives have diabetes and I just thought the worse. I didn’t want to be poking myself everyday, I didn’t want that to be a lifestyle for me. So I started eating less, starve myself I should say.

 

After the doctors appointment, the following day I started being extremely strict on myself. I would only drink one gallon of water and eat a green apple a day. My exercises, I’d walk down a hill and run up the hill at Caesar Chavez park. I started with 10 laps running up and down, I would get tired so quick and run out of breath. I’ve always pushed myself farther than my limits it’s just the person I am. Later, I increased it to 18 and added 3-5 laps around a small circle they had their running around it. I started off at 325lbs. I later contributed In adding 30min - 60min of running in place in my room til a few weeks later I felt like it wasn’t enough no more. So I had to find other ways, I found Snap fitness which is now Kai Fit. I went to other gyms before such as In shape and Gold’s Gym but I didn’t really feel comfortable. Something about kai fit i just like I’m at home.

 

I started working out my ass off and I dropped 127lbs, i was down at 198lbs already. Still with my unhealthy eating habit, starving myself. People would tell me they were happy for me loosing all the weight but I just didn’t look healthy at all, my cheeks looked sucked in my skin color a little pale but I felt good about myself cause at the point it became an obsession to me. I look at myself in the mirror and still see my old self, I don’t feel content with myself. I started packing a bit more weight but I was actually eating healthier and gained 23lbs along with muscle too. I was at my prime in my view, up until my son was born.

 

I was working long 12hr shifts and I would go to the gym right after for about 2hrs. My parents talked to me and so did the mother of my son, giving me crap saying I spend too much time away from my son and too much time at the gym. I understood cause I have to be a father first, but little did they know that was my mind eraser, my only escape. I felt like it was taken away from me. So my depression kinda got back to me, thinking I was better off being gone, that I’d be doing them a favor if I did. 

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I still battle it inside my head, some days it does get the best of me but I’m sure everyone is battling some type of problem in their head which no one knows about. My son is now 2, but I’m a single father now. I started getting back to the gym and little by little im sure gaining confidence again. Never give up on yourself and keep your goals in stone and mind. Have faith in yourself, even when no one believes in you do it for yourself. Hustle so hard til no one can’t reach you but always stay humble!"